I never understood why people would inflict themselves
With time life has taught me that some things you simply can never understand
Until you embody the feeling and live it
Today my body feels numb
As if I was living outside of reality
Lines are blurred
As it gets harder to differentiate what is “real”
My restless hands seek something sharp
People self harm
When they lose the ability to feel
Only then you could become willing to die
Just to feel…



Pain is my muse
And tonight I bleed for you
My silent friend
That creeps in quietly
To remind me that to live is to feel this
The knot growing within my veins
A revelation of your numb body
That you can feel so much
By staying still
I bleed for you dear friend
Because you know more than my facade
That I choose to wear somedays
You dear friend
Remind me that I must ache and live again
I no longer push you away
I embrace you as mine
You are here with me to stay
For as long as this bruised heart beats
You are my impactful reminder
To learn to enjoy the cloudy rain



I feel like such a coward
I can’t even face you
Because I can’t believe this
How you of all people
Could betray me?
My pride has been shattered and burned
I no longer care
But for you I tried
In ways that I can no longer explain
Holding onto a fortress
That vanished within the cold air
Your bleak presence is all that remains
When I walk out that door
I swear to forget your name