How to know if you are in a toxic relationship

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Heartaches… No, not again. Our heart can fool us and cause us to forget to use our brains. When you are not part of a relationship, it becomes extremely clear and concise for you as an outsider to diagnose that such relationship is blatantly unhealthy. Nevertheless, for the two people that are actually fighting and struggling to be together, this unhealthy environment becomes the norm. Hence, they become completely oblivious to all the fights, arguments, jealousy, manipulation and abuse. All of the aforementioned becomes swept under a rug and excuses emerge; such as: “He/she will change, this is just a phase, it was my fault, or worse yet, you hold onto old memories when you were experimenting an euphoric dose of pure love.  As they say: “love is blind.” But, we must take off our self-imposed blindfold along with our personal biases and be brutally honest and selfish for once.

Ask yourself these honest 6 questions and start to acknowledge that sometimes what our heart so desperately desires is not what is best for us in order to be emotionally, mentally, psychologically and physically sane.  If you nod persistently to the following, you know what to do. Just remember to put yourself first.

  1. When you see your partner do you feel drained and lack energy? Or do you feel invigorated and motivated?
  2. When you are with your partner, do they lift your spirits or bring you down?
  3. Does your partner make you feel insecure or confident?
  4. Is there a balance? Do YOU give too much and receive nothing in return?
  5. Is there harmony and peace when you are both together or is it only fights and salty tears?
  6. Does your partner accept you as you are? Or is she/he constantly trying to change you?

Love thyself and know that it is better to be in peace in solitude than to be in bad company and feeling completely miserable and hopeless.

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