Uncategorized

BLAME IT ON THE MOON

An enigma
A sweet and tangled mystery
Is what I allow others to see
Many think they see all my cards
Yet I bluff
For some reason I try not to get close
The more I share
The deeper we get
The harder I fall
It all goes hand in hand
I walk carefully and delicately
Along a fine line on which I think I can’t get hurt
Where no one can touch me
Where no one can hurt me
Where no one can break me
I curse the sky
As it rains
Because all I ever wanted was to love
And to be corresponded in return
Now I lay on my bed
Wondering if I can ever be brave again?
Vulnerable and open
To ever love without restraints?

Uncategorized

WONDERING IF I WILL EVER LOVE AGAIN?

The problem with love
Is that we create an illusion
We tend to not fall in love
With the sweet rawness of someone
But instead of a mirage
The distorted creation of our desires
We fall for potential
From every dream we awaken
And realize that all this time
We were chasing a feeling
An addicting thrill
Passion and enchantment
Then faced with the reality of that person
We get angry
Confused and agitated
Our fragmentation of that person no longer matches reality
It has become too blurry
Too complicated and dramatic
You try to find someone to blame
Something you did
Or was it them?
But it was all in your head
This entire time
I stopped chasing feelings because they took me down a path of self destruction
But the problem were never my feelings
Or my true emotions
It was my curse or gift to overthink
To create sheer complexity within someone that I barely knew
To imagine a life with them without even knowing what kept them at night
Where they saw themselves in five years
If our lives aligned
Along with our purpose
I no longer romanticize or seek love
Because I have made it hard to give myself
I am afraid of falling again
But for the wrong reasons
For writing love where only enchantment resides
Here I lay late at night
Stargazing
Wondering if I will ever love again
Deeply and purely
For one last time?

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I CHOOSE ME

I am weeding out my garden
Clearing out my mind
Cutting out ties that no longer serve me
Saying no to others by saying yes to myself
Freeing my body and soul from temporary and superficial hedonistic pleasures
I choose me
I serve me
I free me
All this weight has been lifted from my heart
It takes time for it to understand what the mind first knows
Consistency, love and loyalty is all that I seek